Sunday, June 20, 2010

Marriage Is Not a Culmination of Romance....

Marriage is not a culmination of romance, it is beginning...

Gray hairs have been started to surface on his head. He might have tried but ream less glasses couldn’t hide the faint wrinkles around his eyes. Standing against the glass wall, sipping his early morning coffee, he was enjoying lightly falling snow outside. Wife, Jenny, in the kitchen, was busy with routine chores.

A tall and slender, teenage blonde girl – Angel - emerged from the room. Reaching behind him, enveloping her hands around his body, she whispered into his ears: “Happy Wedding Anniversary, Dad…”

For a moment, his face froze, as if he was not able to respond his daughter. He again failed to remember his wedding anniversary. A couple of moments later, turning around to poignant smile on his face, he put his hand on her head and could whisper guiltily: “Thanks, Hon.” She smiled and was en route to the kitchen.

He turned and stared into blank as if he was recollecting his past.

He was the same person, who struggled for hours to find a fresh Red Rose for Jennifer - Waited for hours in the parking lot - Sent poetic SMSes every hour - Walking with her on the sprawling waves - Blue tooth into ears, talking all night long and having early morning breakfast at IHOP – Feeding chocolate covered strawberries to each other - He savored every moment with her.

The morning started with making Irish Cream coffee for her and she made black coffee for him. He made her breakfast and she made his - Getting into a shower together – Going to work and dropping her to her office. During work hours, their Blue Tooth always remained plugged into their ears. Picking her up from work and mostly going to Restaurant for dinner. At home, sitting in front of TV, talking more and watching less. The nights had always been intoxicating. Touching, caressing, kissing every pore of the body and wild sex remained at the ultimate level. He loved like a crazy and she blossomed like a flower. They didn’t know when her stomach was bulging amid giggles, laughing, loving, sharing the joy of being married. Once in a while, she started feeling little uneasy. Medical tests revealed that she is carrying.

The child to be born took the center stage of their life. He got more careful handling her. As much as possible he didn’t let her do any household chores. He was more watchful for her exercise and diet. He used to help her to prepare prescribed nutritious food for her. Every morning holding the tray of freshly cut fruits, he had to literally run around her to feed her, as she wasn’t a great fan of fruits. Sometimes she felt so overwhelmed that she thanked God for bestowing the moments she always dreamt of.

In a hospital, he witnessed the birth of an extremely beautiful baby girl, as decided, was named Angel. When he held her into his arms and touched her, awe-inspiring waves passed through his body. Now the focus shifted to baby. Romance was on the back burner and nobody was looking at whether that burner was lit or not.

Marriage comes with responsibilities. Responsibilities made them forget who they were and who they are now. After a long day, they get to home, love baby and collapse into bed exhausted. This doesn’t mean the basic element love has been evaporated or both are fed up with each other. It also doesn’t mean that the bond between two was dead. It simply means we’ve forgotten to keep the flame of our emotions burning.

Essentially, it is our tendency that we always run after the thing which is difficult to acquire. Once we acquire it, the significance of it always keeps decreasing. Monotony takes the place of excitement. When “Lover” becomes “spouse”, the “spouse” becomes “Ghar ki Murgi” (Home Made Chicken) and “Ghar Ki Murgi Is Daal Baraabar” (Homemade chicken is as good as unsavory Pulse Soup). And this tendency of ours gives the birth to the crisis which sometimes becomes difficult to resolve.

But being happily married is not as subtle as you think. There are some precise steps you can take to spice up your relationship. Let try to figure out some seasonings, which make relationship delicious and modify the method of cooking so that we can have delicious meal of the relationship.

Develop Positive Attitude:
A Happy life starts with how you feel about yourself. If you have a positive outlook on life, then you are likely to share that happiness with others. Whenever any crisis arises, try to find out the solution patiently and get to the positive conclusion. If both of the partners try to think this then there won’t be any obstacle in the relationship.

Communicate with each other:
Communication is the key to any relationship. If you don’t say what you think and how you feel on a certain subject, how your partner will be able to know what you are looking for. It is also important to communicate honestly, listen patiently and say uncomplainingly. Blaming or accusing never resolves any problem. Each one needs to put oneself in another’s position and evaluate oneself appropriately.

Compromise – Sacrifice:
It is essential that the spouses are prepared to make sacrifices for each other. If one of the spouses is rather self centered and not willing to make sacrifices, the survival is likely difficult. It is not necessary that the sacrifice is a large one; as many a times small sacrifices that matter the most. If wife doesn’t like smoking, the husband should quit and on the other hand if the smoking is occasional, wife shouldn’t mind it either.

Be Romantic:
Romance doesn’t mean Sex. Sex is an integral part of Romance. Romance appeals to the five senses of human beings. Sight, Smell, Sound, Taste, and Touch. It’s the emotional, spiritual, and physical link between two hearts and two souls. Say “I love you” even when not required. A sizzling kiss for no reason. Buy a copy of the Kama Sutra and gift to your partner. Romance is a spice in the relationship and it makes the relationship delicious.

Respect and Praise:
You can do it by expressing small things. Giving compliments is a great way to let the other know that you care for your partner. “Looking sizzling today.” “I loved your thought.” “You look slim and fit.” Surprise gift of a single Red Rose may please your partner. It is not the flower; it’s feelings behind the flower that works. It shows how you care for her. Wife can do something husband loves most. So praise, respect and conquer the heart.

Spend Quality Time:
While dating, couples spend more time with each other, but later they get busier with other things in life and sometimes they don’t have time to pay attention to each other. Spending less time together can cause couples to drift away. Take a break - take a vacation together to crack the monotony. Spend at least 15 minutes a day together. Keep your cell phone off for a day. Go for a quiet evening once a week. Spend quality time with each other because this is the most treasured gift you can give to your sweetheart.

Say Sorry Whenever Required:
We are human and we make mistakes. When you realize that you have done something unpleasant, never hesitate to apologize. I know men generally don’t like to say sorry. Sorry is a magical word. It removes the doubts and clears misunderstandings. Make a habit of saying sorry whenever and wherever required.

Surprise With Affectionate Action:
Go beyond the expectation. Do something unexpected, which your partner never imagines. Plan an unimaginable romantic getaway. Reserve a Hotel Room and spread rose petals on the way that leads to candle lit Jacuzzi. Write a Love Letter addressing your wife and post it to your own address. Go for some sexual fantasies. Take salsa lessons, get tickets for a live concert and go for a date. Use your imagination and creativity to surprise your partner romantically.

Make Your Bedroom Romantic:
The bedroom is the most romantic place in the world. Color has a very strong and subtle effect on our senses. To create a romantic decor you should probably go for dimmer mood lighting. The bed is where mostly all actions take place. It has to be comfortable. Fabric should be luxurious and cozy. Try to find pieces of artifacts that evoke the intimacy. Scent is also a powerful stimulant. Finally, keep a copy of Kama-Sutra, an ancient guide to sensual pleasure.

Eat Delicious Food:
Food is the heart of life. Food keeps you alive. It is said that the best way to anybody’s heart is delicious food. And I am telling you, it is true. Sometimes nothing inspires more than a mouthwatering meal and sweet treats. Experiment with different types, different continents. And yes, never forget something sweet at the end.

Have Sex Regularly:
Sex is the ultimate joy of life. There is nothing more enjoyable than sex. Sex is the basic ingredient in the unity of man and woman. Just like food, water and air, sex is a need of human being. Sex keeps you close and intimate. Even scientifically it has been proved that sex keeps us healthy. So to spice up your relationship and life, have sex regularly.

We all are humans with different minds, different opinions, different philosophy and different approach towards life. When people with different kinds of minds get to gather at one place; conflicts are bound to take place. But any crisis in marriage can be resolved with love, respect, understanding, patience, trust and faith. We just have to keep in mind that Marriage Is Not an End of Romance; Marriage Is Beginning of Romance.

He, wiping the corner of his eyes, sighed. From the fifteenth floor, snow covered sprawling homes seemed as if sitting in the lap of his building. Snow had been slowed down, as if it was ending.

Angel – literally pulling - brought her mother Jennifer out of the Kitchen and made her stand in front of Daddy. Husband and wife gazed at each other strangely as if they are seeing after ages. Angel chirping, like a sparrow, said: “Happy Wedding Anniversary to both of you…”
Drops of tears swelled up in their eyes.

Angel further said resolutely: “Dad, Kiss Mama… and Mama you kiss Dad…”
They turned their gaze at Angel, who, unaware of detachment between Dad and mom, looked cheerful. They turned to each other and started sobbing as if they realized that they fail to appreciate each other and were regretful. Sobbing turned to weeping and he took hold of her into his arms. They let the grief get out through their eyes, then extended their hands at the little Angel and she cheerfully encircled her hands around them.

Outside the wall glass, the falling snow was stopped. White thick gloomy clouds had been dispersed. Sky was clearer as if it was making a way for the sun to come out. Faint golden rays from the horizon were filtering through the glass and illuminating the hall as well as the life.


  1. Good tips! After being married for little time, I can make out why they make sense! Thank you for putting them together so well..

  2. Thats thoughtful...