Monday, March 11, 2013

Finding a Right Life Partner, When Parents Are Arranging Your Marriage

In our Indian culture, it is the parent’s responsibility to search a match for their children at a marriageable age, even though they are unaware of their children’s outlook. As always, they look for caste – religion, economic and social status, which is rational from their point of view.

Since last decade, in the course of globalization, today’s generation has become more educated, matured and is looking for emotional compatibility, goals in life, personal aspiration, likes and dislikes, which is practical from their point of view.

Balancing these two viewpoints, finding a compatible life partner, when parents are arranging your marriage is a complex subject.

Let’s try to figure out some elements, which can help you choose right one to be happy for the rest of your life.

First of all, you have to figure out, what you are expecting from your life partner. Make a list of your expectations and look for the individual, who can fulfill your criteria. If you are looking for a partner who stays at home and takes care of you and children, then avoid choosing the person, who has high professional qualification and interest in making a career and vice versa. Suppose you love sky diving and your spouse doesn’t but he/she is of adventurous nature, then you can teach and both can enjoy the activity. There are hundreds of permutations and combinations that you can consider. You just have to make sure that your expectations should not clash with your partner’s individuality.

First of all, in our culture, marriage is not a knot between two individuals; it is a union of two families. Secondly, your parents, who gave you birth, raised you, got you educated, have their own expectations and you simply cannot ignore them and same with your siblings. Many a times we all have observed that the conflict amongst husband, wife and in-laws have resulted in a split. It happens due to a clash of expectations, not individuals. So keeping yourself and your partner on top priority, you have to consider your family also and then compromise as much as possible. You just have to keep in mind the only bottom lines that you and your partner are going to live to gather for the rest of your life. It’s all about creating a balance, which is a daunting task to accomplish. It requires a high level of understanding.

How can you select a life partner of your dream in a small meeting arranged by your parents? The answer is you cannot. So you have to meet and talk to your prospective life partner over and again.  The most significant aspect that makes any marriage happy is the desire to give happiness to others without any expectation. You have to go different places, you have to talk a lot and get an idea how your prospective partner treat others; such as waiters, taxi drivers, bus boys. Make sure you check how he or she is behaving with his or her parents and siblings? So meet your prospective partner at different places over and again, talk to him or her, you will definitely get an idea of attitude, approach, communication and level of understanding. One thing you have to remember that someone who treats other poorly will someday treat you poorly as well.

In astrology, some believe and some do not. We have observed that even after matching horoscope, couples have been separated. Astrology and Numerology is an ancient science. But we hardly find the people who possess profound knowledge of astrology and numerology. If you find a genuine astrologer or an authentic numerologist, there is no harm in consulting them and look for a piece of advice. I would rather like you not to depend totally on this but treat this science as an additional help. You never know sometimes it can tell you an untold story and help you, when you are confused and unable to take a decision.

Bottom Line...
We need to accept the reality. Two individuals are not born same. No marriage is or can be ideal. Marriage is a bliss, which can become a misery too. Marriage is an understanding between two individuals. Balancing the view points is a huge challenge. You have to take on this challenge and succeed.


  1. It takes a lot to make a marriage work. An insightful read.

  2. You covered most of the points from parents' as well as their children's point of view... thoughtful post

  3. It does'nt take a lot to make a marriage work.....
    It just needs 2 wonderful peole "One who can trust and one who can understand!!!!"

    1. Nice Line : "One who can trust and one who can understand!!!!"
      Thanks, Ajiteja

  4. Yes this is something where people are stuck and situations like this do come in every ones life... one such situation which i have also discussed here in